Feeling not ot brill.

I am feeling down , overwhelmed & that I just can't cope.
I feel everything has slipped, the house is a total tip, doesn't look any better really than when I started. Having problems with my lads, so feel a total failure at the mo. I am not giving up, I am going to fight. Somehow I will get there, but its a struggle & not getting any easier, I need some help really, not sure where I have gone wrong. I had a fantastic time at the weekend, went away & the weather was lovely. Without help I am going to keep trying, wish I could do more, wish I could cope :(
I know I love my lads, but its not easy, not easy at all :(

Another 5 bags..

Managed to do 2 more black bags from downstairs today & another 3 from my bedroom. Middle Ds was much better, he washed & polished the car. Took them to the tip.
I took us all out for a carvery tea, we ate it outside in the pub garden, it was lovely :)

Ups & Down

Has been a couple of weeks of ups & downs. I have had some pretty big problems with DS2, He has Aspergers, think the word on that side is Challenging. Me, eldest & Youngest have manged to get away for 1 night a couple of times camping, that has done us good, esp last Sat night as it was a beach party themed meet, quite a few drinks, but most of all laughs. The garden is miles better now, so its not a real worry, the inside of the house is still a real mess, need to pull my finger out again. Still not finished my bedroom.
I am going to try & make a effort to get up in a morning as have been losing the mornings in bed again. Hoping we manage up by 10.30. Ds2 has also got into the habit of staying up late & the staying in bed, so its for both of us. We need to get back into the routine again.
I am going to try & cut down the amount of time I spend on the Pc again, I waste to many hours on it every day. I do have many online friends, but they will still be there if I check on less times each day. The forums are quieter now the weather is nicer anyway.

Garden nearly done.

Well the garden is nearly done now. Back is all cut & the hedges about 1/2 the height they were. I had someone round to help do the hedges, took several loads to the tip & have managed to eat outside a few times. This was all about a week ago. I bought a garden shredded a couple of days ago, so hopefully will be able to get rid of the rest of the hedge cuttings soon. After several loads of it to the tip decided I needed to buy a shredder, we have a large car, & had already filled it. Not finished with all the rubbish area yet, but at least a lot is gone & its all in 1 pile on the concrete area. The lads are now starting to make use of the garden again, have had a few friends round on the trampoline. I have been to Ikea & treated myself to some nice wardrobes. They are full height ones, Pax Nexus in Oak, I have bought 3, plus drawers etc for the insides. I have also bought a oak desk & side table, plus nice candles, so today I need to start emptying my room to get those in & sorted. I had hoped to do some yesterday, but wasn't well, so ended up staying in bed all day,It was a day of sleep & painkillers. I was due to be out at a carefree day with carers link, but didn't even get to that. Hate it when i get that bad. Its probably cos I walked more than i should in Ikea ( Only went downstairs, then Dan got me a wheel chair as the handle were upstairs). Not 100% today, so not sure how much I will do, but at least will make a start.